GEEKY WORDPLAY QUIZ 2014 ANSWERS
Well I hope that was fun?
Thank you all so much for taking part, you can now return to your normal lives without asking strangers on the bus "But why would a wise French cook authorise a gay trip? Why?".
Only 1 entry, from over 1000 scored 50/50, congratulations again to @gwilkins25. 10 entries scored 49, 11 scored 48, and lots of 47s.
The quiz was entirely my attempt to say thank you to you all for being so lovely all year, but if you really wanted to, then any donations to the Childs-I Foundation would be gratefully received. Details at www.childsifoundation.org , or follow them @childsi
And if you like the idea of cryptic clues but don't yet know all the neat little tricks to solve them, then I heartily recommend Alan Connor's brilliant book about cryptic crosswords 'Two Girls, One On Each Knee'. Alan is also the question setter on 'Only Connect' so is an all-round hero. Great book if you already love cryptic crosswords too.
Let's take a look at all the answers!.
1. NME - MEN BEHAVING BADLY
Anagram
2. EXPENSIVE TOILET - DEAR JOHN
I think pretty much everyone got this right
3. SOUNDS LIKE HAUTE CUISINE - PORRIDGE
''Oat cuisine' sounds like 'haute cuisine'. A @matosman classic
4. FOOTBALLER, AND WHEN FOOTBALLERS GO ON HOLIDAY - TERRY AND JUNE
John Terry, and the football season ends in May, and it made me laugh.
5. JOEY COLT - THE YOUNG ONES
Both young animals. 'Only Fools & Horses' and 'Some Mothers Do Ave Em' were suggested, but they're both answers elsewhere.
6. MESSY KESTREL HEART - SYKES
Messy Kestrel.
7. I'M SURE THE AMERICANS WERE INVOLVED IN BREAKING OUR CASH REGISTER - TIL DEATH US DO PART
Apologies. You all got it right though.
8. IRRESPONSIBLE - DUTY FREE
9. ROSY AND HAPPY - RED DWARF
Rosy = Red Happy = one of the Seven Dwarves.
10. HOOP OOP OP P - EVER DECREASING CIRCLES
11. TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS SUBS BENCH - THE OFFICE
Perhaps my favourite clue. The subs on an ice hockey team are, of course, 'The off-ice". Lots of people guessing 'Thin Blue Line' but no.
12. WHAT'S IN A ROBOT TOMATO? - BOTTOM
Robot Tomato
13. YO-YO - ALLO ALLO
14. THEY ARE BANNED FROM WINNING THIS QUIZ - MY FAMILY
15. MARIS PIPER - DINNERLADIES
'Maris' and 'Piper' both ladies names. 'Maris Piper' a perfectly acceptable dinner. Candidate for the hardest clue in the quiz, lots of different wrong answers. 4 of our players on 49 points got this wrong
16. ANIMAL MIXED WITH BIRD - I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE
Anagram of 'animal' followed by a bird
17. MUM'S LEGGY... - ...DAD'S ARMY
18. DISTANT BEAR - FATHER TED
19. AS HONEST AS THE DAY IS LONG - OPEN ALL HOURS
20. AWFUL RABBIT SCENT - RAB C. NESBITT
Anagram
21. IF YOU NEED ANYTHING IN YORK OR JERSEY, HE'S YOUR GUY - THE NEW STATESMAN
The 'New' states man
22. DIXON'S FAN CLUB - THE LIKELY LADS
A @matosman special that tripped up a LOT of people. Lee Dixon's fan club are 'the like Lee lads'
23. INSIDE ZEBRA'S STOMACH - BRASS
Zebra's stomach
24. WISE FRENCH COOK AUTHORIZED GAY TRIP - ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES
The entire clue consists of only comedians (Ernie Wise, Dawn French, Peter Cook) and Derby/Grand National winners (Authorized, Gay Trip). Another of my favourite clues, but an impressive amount of correct answers. Lots said 'All Gas & Gaiters'.
25. FAT BLUE BOTTLES - BUTTERFLIES
26. U.S SITCOM HIGHLIGHTS - JUST GOOD FRIENDS
27. LOOKS LIKE HE'S NOT RETURNING MY PIXAR DVD - KEEPING UP APPEARANCES
28. CHEMIST IN ZIT CONFUSION - CITIZEN SMITH
Anagram
29. OLIVER HOMER - MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE
'Oliver' about 'home'
30. 'MAY I RECOMMEND THE AMBROSIA? - WAITING FOR GOD
31. GIFT RAVE - ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
'1ft' in 'Grave' @matosman
32. "MUUUUM, I DON'T WANT TO START MY NEW SCHOOL TOMORROW" - LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE.
33. ROSE BUSH - GEORGE AND MILDRED
'Bush' = George, 'Rose' is, of course a lovely mild red. Lots of people trying 'Barbara' for this, but I'm not having it I'm afraid.
34. PM AD - RISING DAMP
35. IT'S WHEN YOU GET A LOVELY HERBY SMELL -AS TIME GOES BY
Again, apologies
36. IT'S WHERE YOU PARK YOUR FOURTH CAR - SPACED
Space D
37. GOD I FEEL HOT, IT'S CRAZY - THE GOOD LIFE
@matosman anagram
38. GIVE ME CONTRACTIONS - GIMME GIMME GIMME
Brilliant @matosman clue. My favourite
39. OFFICES IN NUNNERIES - SOME MOTHERS DO 'AVE 'EM
40. LANCELOT AND GUINIVERE - GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART
41....THEN I'LL NICK DAYS - PHOENIX NIGHTS
Look, I can't keep apologising
42. THE SINCLAIR EXECUTIVE 1972 - BLACKADDER
The one you all Googled and went "ahhhhhh!"
43. MY SINISTER E DISASTER - YES MINISTER
Anagram
44. "HEY KLARA, HEY PETER, IT'S ME" - HI-DE-HI
Heidi's two friends.
45. 32.6% OF A FILM - HANCOCK'S HALF HOUR
30 minutes was 32.6% of Will Smith's 'Hancock'. @matosman again there
46. I TOOK MY MILLS & BOON BACK LATE! - A FINE ROMANCE
47. SOMEWHERE IN THE RULES - BREAD
Another of the toughest clues to answer, but really the simplest of all. I had hidden the answer in the rules to the quiz " perhaps in the pub? Read this again". Mwah hah hah!
48. WHERE HAYES AND WINDSOR MEET - IT AIN'T HALF HOT MUM
Another tough one, this time from @matosman. A reference to Windsor Davies and Melvin Hayes
49. WHAT DID THE RACKET SAY TO THE TENNIS BALL? - ARE YOU BEING SERVED?
My final apology
50. THE POINTLESS CHRISTMAS BOOK, WOULD, OF COURSE, BE AN ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS CHRISTMAS PRESENT. AND VERY COMPETITIVELY PRICED
Well that is that. Perhaps we should all do it again sometime? Thanks again to you all, and I wish you a very Happy Christmas
Monday, 8 December 2014
Wednesday, 3 December 2014
AT LAST IT'S THE GEEKY WORDPLAY QUIZ 2014!
GEEKY WORDPLAY QUIZ 2014
NAME THE SITCOM
Annoying clues! Cash prizes! Etc!
Ok, here we go again. Are you ready? 50 clues to BRITISH SITCOMS lay ahead.
The clues are a mix of geeky wordplay, cryptic stupidity and bad puns. The answers were all in the top 75 British Sitcoms voted by BBC viewers in 2004 (see list attached)
I cannot stress enough that you almost certainly shouldn't do this quiz. If you don't like cryptic things, or if you do like cryptic things but you are not childish, then you will hate it. If you look at the clues and think "I don't understand" or "what is Osman going on about?" or "shut up Osman, this is just too much. You have absolutely lost it mate, I preferred the early series of Pointless. Now I only watch 'Tipping Point'" then just close this page down and get on with your day. Honestly, save yourself, we will both be happier. It's REALLY annoyingly geeky. That's your final warning.
If you are reading on however, then let the fun begin. I say 'fun', those of you who have done the previous quizzes will know that it will start off as fun, and then as you get stuck on the harder clues you will begin to curse me until you wake up in the middle of the night screaming "what is the answer to number 33???"
This quiz is basically my way of saying thank you to you all for following me, and being so supportive and funny on Twitter all year. I really appreciate it. I know that there might be better ways of thanking you then driving you insane with rage, but it's the best I've got. I've worked really hard on it, and I hope you like it.
Before you start the quiz, here are the basics. READ THIS!
1. 50 clues. the answer to each one is one of the top British 75 sitcoms on the list below. Make sure you print this list out or have it handy, all the answers are there.
2. For the last Geeky Wordplay Quizzes I published 10 clues at a time. For reasons of admin I am publishing all 50 at once this year. You have until 11pm on Sunday Dec 7th to submit your answers.
3. All answers to be sent to geekquiz@endemoluk.com. DO NOT TWEET ANSWERS! If you are distracted (perhaps in the pub?) read this bit again... DO NOT TWEET ANSWERS! It ruins it for everyone and, hey, that's my job. Please include your Twitter name in your email.
4. There will be a prize of £100 to the charity of the winner's choice. If there is a tie then a random draw will be made to decide the winner. There will also be another prize of £100 to charity to one random entry scoring at least 25/50.
5. Fans of cryptic crosswords forgive me. Because all of the answers are on the sitcom list I occasionally play fast and loose with the clues. You'll be able to work out which is which, but I might make you tut in a very British way from time to time. @matosman provided some clues and his are all cryptically perfect.
Shall we? Good luck everyone. Really hope you enjoy it. Here are your 50 clues...
BRITISH SITCOM LIST
Here are the top 75 sitcoms as voted by BBC viewers. All 50 of your answers are somewhere on this list. FYI, this list is in the order that they were voted on the poll.
NAME THE SITCOM
Annoying clues! Cash prizes! Etc!
Ok, here we go again. Are you ready? 50 clues to BRITISH SITCOMS lay ahead.
The clues are a mix of geeky wordplay, cryptic stupidity and bad puns. The answers were all in the top 75 British Sitcoms voted by BBC viewers in 2004 (see list attached)
I cannot stress enough that you almost certainly shouldn't do this quiz. If you don't like cryptic things, or if you do like cryptic things but you are not childish, then you will hate it. If you look at the clues and think "I don't understand" or "what is Osman going on about?" or "shut up Osman, this is just too much. You have absolutely lost it mate, I preferred the early series of Pointless. Now I only watch 'Tipping Point'" then just close this page down and get on with your day. Honestly, save yourself, we will both be happier. It's REALLY annoyingly geeky. That's your final warning.
If you are reading on however, then let the fun begin. I say 'fun', those of you who have done the previous quizzes will know that it will start off as fun, and then as you get stuck on the harder clues you will begin to curse me until you wake up in the middle of the night screaming "what is the answer to number 33???"
This quiz is basically my way of saying thank you to you all for following me, and being so supportive and funny on Twitter all year. I really appreciate it. I know that there might be better ways of thanking you then driving you insane with rage, but it's the best I've got. I've worked really hard on it, and I hope you like it.
Before you start the quiz, here are the basics. READ THIS!
1. 50 clues. the answer to each one is one of the top British 75 sitcoms on the list below. Make sure you print this list out or have it handy, all the answers are there.
2. For the last Geeky Wordplay Quizzes I published 10 clues at a time. For reasons of admin I am publishing all 50 at once this year. You have until 11pm on Sunday Dec 7th to submit your answers.
3. All answers to be sent to geekquiz@endemoluk.com. DO NOT TWEET ANSWERS! If you are distracted (perhaps in the pub?) read this bit again... DO NOT TWEET ANSWERS! It ruins it for everyone and, hey, that's my job. Please include your Twitter name in your email.
4. There will be a prize of £100 to the charity of the winner's choice. If there is a tie then a random draw will be made to decide the winner. There will also be another prize of £100 to charity to one random entry scoring at least 25/50.
5. Fans of cryptic crosswords forgive me. Because all of the answers are on the sitcom list I occasionally play fast and loose with the clues. You'll be able to work out which is which, but I might make you tut in a very British way from time to time. @matosman provided some clues and his are all cryptically perfect.
Shall we? Good luck everyone. Really hope you enjoy it. Here are your 50 clues...
1.
NME
2.
EXPENSIVE TOILET
3.
SOUNDS LIKE HAUTE CUISINE
4.
FOOTBALLER, AND WHEN
FOOTBALLERS GO ON HOLIDAY
5.
JOEY COLT
6.
MESSY KESTREL HEART
7.
I’M SURE THE AMERICANS WERE
INVOLVED IN BREAKING OUR CASH REGISTER
8.
IRRESPONSIBLE
9.
ROSY AND HAPPY
10. HOOP OOP OP P
11. TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS SUBS BENCH
12. WHAT’S IN A ROBOT TOMATO?
13. YO-YO
14. THEY ARE BANNED FROM WINNING THIS QUIZ
15. MARIS PIPER
16. ANIMAL MIXED WITH BIRD
17. MUM’S LEGGY…
18. DISTANT BEAR
19. AS HONEST AS THE DAY IS LONG
20. AWFUL RABBIT SCENT
21. IF YOU NEED ANYTHING IN YORK OR JERSEY HE’S YOUR GUY
22. DIXON’S FAN CLUB
23. INSIDE ZEBRA'S STOMACH
24. WISE FRENCH COOK AUTHORIZED GAY TRIP
25. FAT BLUE BOTTLES
26. U.S. SITCOM HIGHLIGHTS
27. LOOKS LIKE HE’S NOT RETURNING MY PIXAR DVD
28. CHEMIST IN ZIT CONFUSION
29. OLIVE HOMER
30. “MAY I RECOMMEND THE AMBROSIA?”
31. GIFT RAVE
32. “MUUUUUM, I DON’T WANT TO START MY NEW SCHOOL TOMORROW!”
33. ROSE BUSH
34. PM AD
35. IT’S WHEN YOU GET A LOVELY HERBY SMELL
36. IT’S WHERE YOU PARK YOUR FOURTH CAR
37. GOD I FEEL HOT, IT’S CRAZY
38. GIVE ME CONTRACTIONS
39. OFFICES IN NUNNERIES
40. LANCELOT & GUINIVERE
41. …THEN I’LL NICK DAYS
42. THE SINCLAIR EXECUTIVE 1972
43. MY SINISTER E DISASTER
44. “HEY, KLARA, HEY PETER, IT’S ME!”
45. 32.6% OF A FILM
46. I TOOK MY MILLS & BOON BACK LATE!
47. SOMEWHERE IN THE RULES
48. WHERE HAYES AND WINDSOR MEET
49. WHAT DID THE RACKET SAY TO THE TENNIS BALL?
50. THE VERY POINTLESS QUIZ BOOK, AVAILABLE NOW IN ALL GOOD BOOKSHOPS, WOULD
MAKE AN ________________ CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR ALL THE FAMILY
BRITISH SITCOM LIST
Here are the top 75 sitcoms as voted by BBC viewers. All 50 of your answers are somewhere on this list. FYI, this list is in the order that they were voted on the poll.
Only Fools and Horses
Blackadder
Vicar Of Dibley
Dad's Army
Fawlty Towers
Yes Minister
Porridge
Open All Hours
The Good Life
One Foot In The Grave
Father Ted
Keeping Up
Appearances
'Allo 'Allo!
Last of the Summer
Wine
Steptoe and Son
Men Behaving Badly
Absolutely
Fabulous
Red Dwarf
The Royle Family
Are You Being
Served?
To the Manor Born
Some Mothers Do
'Ave 'Em
The Likely Lads
My Family
The Office
Drop the Dead
Donkey
Rising Damp
Dinnerladies
As Time Goes By
Hancock's Half
Hour
The Young Ones
Till Death Us Do
Part
Butterflies
The Thin Blue Line
Fall and Rise of
Reginald Perrin
Phoenix Nights
Waiting for God
Birds of a Feather
Bread
Hi-De-Hi
The League of
Gentlemen
I'm Alan Partridge
Just Good Friends
2.4 Children
Bottom
It Ain't Half Hot
Mum
The Brittas Empire
Gimme Gimme Gimme
Rab C. Nesbitt
Goodnight
Sweetheart
Up Pompeii
Ever Decreasing
Circles
On the Buses
Coupling
George and Mildred
A Fine Romance
Citizen Smith
Black Books
The Liver Birds
Two Pints of Lager
and a Packet of Crisps
The New Statesman
Sykes
Please, Sir!
Dear John
Barbara
Spaced
Bless this House
Love Thy Neighbour
Man About the
House
Desmonds
Duty Free
All Gas and
Gaiters
Terry & June
Only When I Laugh
Brass
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