GEEKY WORDPLAY QUIZ 2014 ANSWERS

Well I hope that was fun?

Thank you all so much for taking part, you can now return to your normal lives without asking strangers on the bus "But why would a wise French cook authorise a gay trip? Why?".

Only 1 entry, from over 1000 scored 50/50, congratulations again to @gwilkins25. 10 entries scored 49, 11 scored 48, and lots of 47s.

The quiz was entirely my attempt to say thank you to you all for being so lovely all year, but if you really wanted to, then any donations to the Childs-I Foundation would be gratefully received. Details at www.childsifoundation.org , or follow them @childsi

And if you like the idea of cryptic clues but don't yet know all the neat little tricks to solve them, then I heartily recommend Alan Connor's brilliant book about cryptic crosswords 'Two Girls, One On Each Knee'. Alan is also the question setter on 'Only Connect' so is an all-round hero. Great book if you already love cryptic crosswords too.


Let's take a look at all the answers!.

1. NME - MEN BEHAVING BADLY
Anagram

2. EXPENSIVE TOILET - DEAR JOHN
I think pretty much everyone got this right

3. SOUNDS LIKE HAUTE CUISINE - PORRIDGE
''Oat cuisine' sounds like 'haute cuisine'. A @matosman classic

4. FOOTBALLER, AND WHEN FOOTBALLERS GO ON HOLIDAY - TERRY AND JUNE
John Terry, and the football season ends in May, and it made me laugh.

5. JOEY COLT - THE YOUNG ONES
Both young animals. 'Only Fools & Horses' and 'Some Mothers Do Ave Em' were suggested, but they're both answers elsewhere.

6. MESSY KESTREL HEART - SYKES
Messy Kestrel.

7. I'M SURE THE AMERICANS WERE INVOLVED IN BREAKING OUR CASH REGISTER - TIL DEATH US DO PART
Apologies. You all got it right though.

8. IRRESPONSIBLE - DUTY FREE

9. ROSY AND HAPPY - RED DWARF
Rosy = Red Happy = one of the Seven Dwarves.

10. HOOP OOP OP P - EVER DECREASING CIRCLES

11. TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS SUBS BENCH - THE OFFICE
Perhaps my favourite clue. The subs on an ice hockey team are, of course, 'The off-ice". Lots of people guessing 'Thin Blue Line' but no.

12. WHAT'S IN A ROBOT TOMATO? - BOTTOM
Robot Tomato

13. YO-YO - ALLO ALLO

14. THEY ARE BANNED FROM WINNING THIS QUIZ - MY FAMILY

15. MARIS PIPER - DINNERLADIES
'Maris' and 'Piper' both ladies names. 'Maris Piper' a perfectly acceptable dinner. Candidate for the hardest clue in the quiz, lots of different wrong answers. 4 of our players on 49 points got this wrong

16. ANIMAL MIXED WITH BIRD - I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE
Anagram of 'animal' followed by a bird

17. MUM'S LEGGY... - ...DAD'S ARMY

18. DISTANT BEAR - FATHER TED

19. AS HONEST AS THE DAY IS LONG - OPEN ALL HOURS

20. AWFUL RABBIT SCENT - RAB C. NESBITT
Anagram

21. IF YOU NEED ANYTHING IN YORK OR JERSEY, HE'S YOUR GUY - THE NEW STATESMAN
The 'New' states man

22. DIXON'S FAN CLUB - THE LIKELY LADS
A @matosman special that tripped up a LOT of people. Lee Dixon's fan club are 'the like Lee lads'

23. INSIDE ZEBRA'S STOMACH - BRASS
Zebra's stomach

24. WISE FRENCH COOK AUTHORIZED GAY TRIP - ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES
The entire clue consists of only comedians (Ernie Wise, Dawn French, Peter Cook) and Derby/Grand National winners (Authorized, Gay Trip). Another of my favourite clues, but an impressive amount of correct answers. Lots said 'All Gas & Gaiters'.

25. FAT BLUE BOTTLES - BUTTERFLIES

26. U.S SITCOM HIGHLIGHTS - JUST GOOD FRIENDS

27. LOOKS LIKE HE'S NOT RETURNING MY PIXAR DVD - KEEPING UP APPEARANCES

28. CHEMIST IN ZIT CONFUSION - CITIZEN SMITH
Anagram

29. OLIVER HOMER - MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE
'Oliver' about 'home'

30. 'MAY I RECOMMEND THE AMBROSIA? - WAITING FOR GOD

31. GIFT RAVE - ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
'1ft' in 'Grave' @matosman

32. "MUUUUM, I DON'T WANT TO START MY NEW SCHOOL TOMORROW" - LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE.

33. ROSE BUSH - GEORGE AND MILDRED
'Bush' = George, 'Rose' is, of course a lovely mild red. Lots of people trying 'Barbara' for this, but I'm not having it I'm afraid.

34. PM AD - RISING DAMP

35. IT'S WHEN YOU GET A LOVELY HERBY SMELL -AS TIME GOES BY
Again, apologies

36. IT'S WHERE YOU PARK YOUR FOURTH CAR - SPACED
Space D

37. GOD I FEEL HOT, IT'S CRAZY - THE GOOD LIFE
@matosman anagram

38. GIVE ME CONTRACTIONS - GIMME GIMME GIMME
Brilliant @matosman clue. My favourite

39. OFFICES IN NUNNERIES - SOME MOTHERS DO 'AVE 'EM

40. LANCELOT AND GUINIVERE - GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART

41....THEN I'LL NICK DAYS - PHOENIX NIGHTS
Look, I can't keep apologising

42. THE SINCLAIR EXECUTIVE 1972 - BLACKADDER
The one you all Googled and went "ahhhhhh!"

43. MY SINISTER E DISASTER - YES MINISTER
Anagram

44. "HEY KLARA, HEY PETER, IT'S ME" - HI-DE-HI
Heidi's two friends.

45. 32.6% OF A FILM - HANCOCK'S HALF HOUR
30 minutes was 32.6% of Will Smith's 'Hancock'. @matosman again there

46. I TOOK MY MILLS & BOON BACK LATE! - A FINE ROMANCE

47. SOMEWHERE IN THE RULES - BREAD
Another of the toughest clues to answer, but really the simplest of all. I had hidden the answer in the rules to the quiz " perhaps in the pub? Read this again". Mwah hah hah!

48. WHERE HAYES AND WINDSOR MEET - IT AIN'T HALF HOT MUM
Another tough one, this time from @matosman. A reference to Windsor Davies and Melvin Hayes

49. WHAT DID THE RACKET SAY TO THE TENNIS BALL? - ARE YOU BEING SERVED?
My final apology

50. THE POINTLESS CHRISTMAS BOOK, WOULD, OF COURSE, BE AN ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS CHRISTMAS PRESENT. AND VERY COMPETITIVELY PRICED



Well that is that. Perhaps we should all do it again sometime? Thanks again to you all, and I wish you a very Happy Christmas