BANK HOLIDAYS

WHY BANK HOLIDAYS ARE BAD, AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT - A POEM

The streets are packed.

The shops are rammed

The trains are full, the roads are jammed.

You’ll drive for miles

Then queue for hours

For Chessington or Alton Towers.

Or take the kids

To Hull or Crewe

Cos your family’s got the day off too.

The beaches fill

With gals and fellas

Shelt’ring underneath umbrellas.

You know you hate them,

Every year.

So why not try out this idea?

Go to work!

Go on, just try it!

The perfect place for peace and quiet!

An empty office!

A sight so fine

Feel free to browse the Mail Online.

You know you’ve always

Longed to use

That dryer in the ladies loos.

Have a kip,

And have no fear!

No-one will see

No-one can hear.

HR won’t know,

You’re in the clear!

I-Player on

Ooh look, ‘Top Gear’!

Water cooler?

Fill with beer!

And all the while

Reflect with cheer

Your boss is sobbing in IKEA.